How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
