pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
