He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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