Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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