Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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