Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
