and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
