When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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