Everything about him screamed your future.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
