I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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