yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
