you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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