Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
