I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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