Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
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Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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