so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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