I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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