And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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