they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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