Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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