it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
even my farts smell like vagina
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
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