I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
