I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
