remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
