so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
