i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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