Porn is love you can see.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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