Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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