You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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