I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Pants are for mortals
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
