I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
