I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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