Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
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Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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I need to wash the frat house off of me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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