Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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