i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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