im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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