a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
