you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize