I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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