She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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