the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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