no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
