My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
