Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
