READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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