Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
