you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
