she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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