my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
