i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Will exercising make me less horny?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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