Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
