distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
