I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
