she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
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Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.