dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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