i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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