So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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