Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
