a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize