i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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