Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
