this beer tastes like vomit already
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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