just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
