Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
