First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
