I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
